Please, I'm fine
by WriteWaitReadRepeat
Summary: Sean cuts himself, he has for months. Mark comes to visit and Sean tries to hide he cuts and bruises. Rated T for dark themes, cutting and suicidal thoughts. P.S. I don't ship them, but I do ship their personalities.
1. Chapter 1

Jack's POV

"...Anyways thank you all so much for watching if you liked it punch that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS! And _high fives all around_ and see all you dudes in the neXT VIDEO!" I hit stop recording and sat back in my chair ' _Better send that to robin'_ I think looking at the video i just spent four hours making. Let's be honest making videos was fun at first but after awhile it was more of a chore. The more I realized that I was unappreciated less I liked it. I spent years training in hotel management just to suddenly start making videos on YouTube. All I had worked for went out the window. I didn't deserve this. I still don't. "Ah... Stop it Jackaboy!" I say to myself while getting up. I make a B-line for my kitchen cabinet.

"Ugh, I'm out." I complain while looking at my bottle of antidepressants. "Guess I'll have to use plan B... again." Walking to my bathroom I notice my phone ringing on my desk. Quickly I run to my phone seeing Mark's happy face.

"JACKABOIIII!" He screams making my eardrum explode in pain.

"MARKIMOOOOO!" I yell trying to copy he's excitement.

"Are you okay!?" SHIT he clearly noticed my voice crack.

"Yeah, my voice is just tired from recording happy wheels you know what it does to me." I say trying to sound genuine.

"Okay, but you know you can tell me if ANYTHING is wrong alright?" _'No I Can't YHate Me If You Knew!'_ I wanted so badly to scream

"Yeah. So when is your flight coming in?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Yes that's what I called you about I leave in an hour for Boston then from there I go to Ireland! So, I should be there in seven hours!" I look at my clock it read: 12:45 _'He'll be here around eight I should probably make dinner for him'_

"Alright I'll see you this evening. I can't wait! Bye!" I hang up _'Why did I fucking agree to this? Having Mark of all people here, in my house. I can't believe he talked me in to this.'_

As I walk into my bathroom I think about all that I need to get done. But first in should check social media. I open up twitter and see a post Mark did it was of him smiling and pointing to Ireland on a giant map. I laugh and smile like an idiot until I read the replies. 'What your going to see jack i didnt know you were friends with him' 'ugh i HATE jacksrpticeye' 'dont waste your time on him his content sux' I read more and more unable to stop until I notice that i was subconsciously went under my sink to find a well used friend. As I pull him out I see the blood stained on it from yesterday when forgot to clean it. I sigh, look at it, and say "Hello plan B."


	2. Chapter 2

**Mark's POV**

I'm ecstatic, I'm finishing up packing for my trip to Sean's. I look at my flights on my phone just to doubled check everything is in order. _'I should call him'_ I planned to go to his house to colab and have fun in Ireland after a lot of convincing he begrudgingly agreed but I had secret motive. I've been worried the last couple months he's been acting strange. I know I'm probably over thinking it, none of his fans have seemed to notice any change, but I can't get over thinking he's depressed. I can feel my anxiety coming back. _'Stop right there and call him his voice will make you feel better'_

I pick up my phone and can't help but blush at his picture. _'Aww he's so cute, I wish I coul-WAIT DID I JUST CALL HIM CUTE?!'_ I blush even harder as I push call. Ring. Ring. Ring. _'Maybe he's busy...'_ Then I hear him pickup I get overly excited and scream.

"JACKABOIIII!" I don't even think about how it could hurt his ears.

"MARKIMOOOOO!" _'Fuck, somethings wrong, oh no fuck he's sad.'_

"Are you okay!?" I started to panic I don't know why.

"Yeah, my voice is just tired from recording happy wheels you know what it does to me." _'Aww he's tired he always works so hard. But I can't shake this feeling.'_

"Okay, but you know you can tell me if ANYTHING is wrong alright?" I reassure him just encase.

"Yeah. So when is your flight coming in?" It sound like he was forcefully trying to change the subject but my excitement got the best of me.

"Yes that's what I called you about I leave in an hour for Boston then from there I go to Ireland! So, I should be there in seven hours!" The long flight was worth it for Sean!

"Alright I'll see you this evening. I can't wait! Bye!"

"Wait I-" He already hung up.

I went on twitter and posted a picture of my pointing at Ireland on a giant map. Ethan and I were at the mall a couple of days ago and I saw the giant map so the only logical thing to do was take a picture. Soon after posting the picture I saw Sean liked it. Then I read the comments they were all so supportive and happy I was so glad I have such an awesome fan base until I came across the hate comments these boiled my blood even though they weren't against me they were against Sean.

I get in Tyler's car as he and Ethan take me to the airport. We mostly talk business but we still joke and have fun. I think about how grateful I am to have Tyler in my life he's such a delight to be around even if he's a little stubborn. I then thought about Ethan too and how much fun we had filming the extra videos for when I will be away.

I wave good bye to Tyler and Ethan wishing they were coming with me but this is something I need to do alone.

As I wait in the terminal I watch Jacksepticeye at the end of a row of chairs trying not to get noticed. I smile and laugh so much at Sean's videos that the little old lady next to me asked me to quite down. I turn off my phone and begin to talk to her she talked about how she had a wonderful time in L.A. but is ready to go back to her home in Boston then starts talking about her son and his step daughter and her horse... I completely tuned her out after the fifth time she mentioned her step grand daughter.

Finally it was time to board I said my good byes to Person and got to my seat asap. After lift off I fell asleep.

 **Mark's Dream**

I was in some sort of forest it was beautiful if I had to guess it was Colorado. After awhile I came across a leprechaun with a amazing Irish accent.

"Hello human!" He said so happily

"Hello sir. What are you doing?" I asked I awe

"Just about to kill myself. What about you?" He sounded so happy I couldn't tell if he was joking.

"What did you just say?!" I was starting to get very worried.

"Wow you humans _are_ dumb. I said I'm going to kill myself dumby." He giggled as he pulled out I knife. Quickly I lunge at him to try and stop him but I couldn't move I was completely powerless I was forced to watch as he cut his wrists with a big smile across his freckled face. After he was done I could move again. I scooped him up and tried to stop the bleeding nothing was working I scream for help but no one came. "It's okay don't cry." I look down and see Sean I begin to bawl unable to stop myself until everything went black I scream his name as I hold on to his fading body.

"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking..." I can't concentrate on him I'm too busy thinking of my nightmare. Leaning my head on my hand, I feel my wet cheeks _'Thank GOD I'm sitting alone!'_ We finally landed in Boston so I texted Sean.

 **I'm in Boston^^**

I used the restroom before getting on my next flight. I look at my self in the mirror you could tell I cried on the plane. _'Ugh, I look awful.'_ Before getting on my next flight I checked to see if Sean texted back but he didn't. This made me sad but I figured he was just busy.

 **Leaving BOSSton next stop IRELAND!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Jack's POV**

I looked at my leg as I held the razor in one hand and my phone in the other I read a hate comment. Slice. Another comment. Cut. Then another. Slit. I began to sob heavily as the blood flowed freely down my leg. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't as I read more I cut more. "You worthless, good for nothing, annoying, pointless human being." With every word I cut deeper, longer. After about a minute I calmed down and looked at my legs it was very bloody and throbbing. I began to feel light headed from all the blood loss. _'Almost as bad as yesterday.'_ I bandage my leg and decide to clean the other. Unwrapping my leg, I see all the dried blood from the infected wounds. My leg screams in pain as I pour rubbing alcohol on it. Finally I'm done.

I walk into the living room and start to tidy up. After sweeping I do the dishes and put the sheets on the guest bed that Mark will be sleeping on. Ding. I look at my phone.

 **I'm in Boston^^**

 _'Yay mark will be here soon'_ I can't wait to see him, He'll make me feel better he always does. I get ready to go to the shop to buy supplies. While walking my phone dings again. My heart skips.

 **Leaving BOSSton next stop IRELAND!**

I can't think of anything to text back so I just put it back in my pocket. The shop was pretty empty so I was quick. I grabbed all the essentials soda, chips, and plenty of energy drinks. Then to the liquor section I know Mark can't drink but I need something to ease the pain. Grabbing random stuff from the medical section, I get in line to check out. The car ride back was eerily quit.

With everything put away and clean I decided to record a couple videos. I look at the clock after a lot of recording. "Shit, it's already seven." I hop in my car and get directions for the airport. As I get closer my stomach twists with anxiety. _'What if he sees the cuts? Or my razor? Or the pills?'_ I think more and more my anxiety nearly unbearable.

Pulling into the pickup area, I see Mark just walking out of the doors and suddenly I feel some relief. He does something on his phone then puts it away.

 **Just landed I'm in the pickup area**

I smile and casual roll down the window so he can see me.

"Need a ride cutie?" He laughs his heart laugh as I get out to hug him.

I see him blush a little as I pull him into a hug.

 **Mark's POV**

I send Sean a text then put away my phone and look up to see a car pull up and roll down its window.

"Need a ride cutie?" When I see it's Sean I laugh then he ran up to hug me. We hugged for a minute but it felt like a couple seconds, neither one of us wanted to let go.

As we drove to his house we planned our schedule for the next two weeks we barely finished when we pulled into the garage. He showed me my room. Then we decided to just relax. Sean sat next to me on the couch we talked for awhile I was very comfy and tired without noticing I slipped into a deep sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Mark's POV**

I was in the forest again with the leprechaun's corpse in front of me. Picking him up, I cried, hard, tears streamed down my face I was broken as I clinch on to its tiny body. Suddenly, I was in the middle of the street with tons of people surrounding me. Everyone walked in straight lines ignoring anything near them. Ignoring me. I screamed but no one cared.

"Please you have got to help me!" I grabbed someones arm.

"Oh, Mark you finally got ride of him!" He said so happily.

I looked at him as a crowd formed around us, it was Tyler. Everyone around me was my friend. They betrayed me. I hug the corpse while people congratulated me for getting rid of him. I looked down at the leprechaun once more, I froze when I saw it was Sean. No one cared that my best friend was dead.

 **Mark's POV (Awake)**

Finally it was over my dream ended. I didn't want to open my eyes _'Too comfy.'_ I eventually open my eyes to assess the area. _'Huh, must of fallen asleep last night on the couch.'_ Then I look down at the warm thing on my chest and see that it was Sean. I fell asleep with Sean. I Slept With SEAN! I blushed and tried to get up but it then started to wake Sean up. _'Crap!'_ I couldn't wake him, he looked so tired when I saw him. Damn he's so cute. After a while of just sittng there hugging him I fell back to sleep with Sean in my arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sean's POV**

I slept the best I have in weeks I was so warm and comfy. Wonder how Mark slept. Hope he found his room alright last night. _'I'm so comfy'_ I fight my eyes trying to open I felt something move under me but figured it was just my sleepy imagination. _'Why am I so comfortable?'_ After about fifteens minuets I finally open my eyes squinting at the sun coming through the shades. Realizing I was laying on something that was breathing, I jumped up out of Mark's sleeping grip. Carefully as to not wake the 'Sleeping Beauty' I lift myself off him.

I ran into the bathroom. _'I just slept with my crush!'_ I screamed in my head. Looking into the mirror, I see my bright red cheeks. _'What happened last night?!'_ I blush just thinking of the possibilities, _'AHHHH STOP THIS SEAN!'_ I look back into the mirror at my face my blush has gotten redder. I take a shower and get ready to face this day after I dried off I got dressed and look at the mirror while I did my hair. Then I look at my eyes I'm surprised that my eye bags have gone down. _'Guess I slept better than I thought.'_ But they were still pretty bad looking so I grab my concealer from under my sink and put it on. I double check that I look okay then leave the bathroom.

I turn on the light in the kitchen making sure to keep it on low so it doesn't disturb Mark. While I cook I think about Mark and how he's always so kind and loving to so many people and never complains or gets angry. I envy him, never letting the hate comments get to him. I wish I was able to get out of bed every morning not hating myself like him. He acted care-free and just upbeat.

After I finish making breakfast I go get Mark to wake him up. As I opraoch him I admire how peaceful he looks I almost didn't wake him up , but we have to start work.

"Mark." I say sweetly as I shake him.

Slowly he stirs awake and puts on his heart melting grin.

"Top of the morning to you Jackaboy." He says with a yawn.

"Breakfast is ready." I go into the kitchen to grab plates and cups.

It's nice grabbing two of everything. Two plates. Two cups. Two Forks. I smile at Mark as he comes and takes a seat. I serves us breakfast and we sit there silently as we eat. I couldn't help but notice his slit blush. Afterwards he went to go take his shower while I cleaned up.

I went into my room to my room to record. Since it was broad day light out I did an Indie horror game I heard great reviews about. About midway through the game the music got really loud and suspenseful so I couldn't hear Mark slip into the room. I felt a presence and looked behind me but Mark just went behind my chair at the right moment.

 **Mark's POV**

After I got dried and dressed I went to go find Sean. Hearing little adorable screams coming from his recording room I assumed that he was playing a horror game. Boy was I right. He was playing a well done Indie horror game that I played a couple of day ago, so I knew when the scare him was. In the game, towards the end your character gets tied up and you can hear the monster right behind you , so you're forced to wait until he grabs you.

I start making gestures at the camera for fun. Then suddenly he turns around so I jump behind his chair just in the nick of time. Eventually it gets to the point in the game where you're tied up and just as he gets grabbed in the game I grab him he screams so loud while I topple over laughing. Sean pretends to be mad until he can't help but laugh. Soon after I leave and he wraps up his video.

 _'Well that was fun what should I do now?'_ After awhile I decide to do a vlog. While I'm vlogging Sean comes out of his room and we film until it was time for lunch.

We ordered pizza and started to story boarding. Finaly the pizzas come I was so hungry I ate five slices. After gobbling down my pizza I looked up at Sean and saw that he had only eaten one slice.

We cleaned up our mess and went to our computers. I edited some then we on twitter to post something dumb. When I went to get a drink I checked on Sean to see what he was doing. Surprisingly he was watching the vlog from this morning. I went back to working blushing that Sean likes to watch my videos.

Sean knocked on my door with a goofy smile

"Wanna go out for dinner?"

"What's this are you asking me out on a _date_?" I giggled as I got up.

 **Jack's POV**

 _'Mark's such a dick.'_ I roll my eyes at the stupid prank he pulled on me. I giggle just thinking about him _'Why does he have this effect on me?'_ Getting up from my chair I stretch then quickly grab my leg in pain. FUCK. When Mark scarred me I accidentally reopened my cuts then they dried to my pants getting up made it worse.

I go to Mark's room and knock on the door.

"Wanna go out for dinner?" I ask.

"What's this are you asking me out on a _date_?" I blush so hard and thank GOD that he turned around so he could see my red face. 'Why _do you have to be like this Mark?'_ I go to the front door and look back to see if Mark was behind me. We hop in my car and go to my favorite restaurant.

After dinner we were so tired we just went directly to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Jack's POV**

At dinner we laughed and talked for what seemed like hours. It was amazing to be genuinely laughing until I moved my leg in the wrong way. It felt like I reopened my leg, it burned and screamed at me. I tried so hard to ignore it until it became too much of a problem. I excused myself to the bathroom, once I got in I ripped off my pants and assessed the situation. Its stench was nearly unbearable. Last night I didn't get a chance to redo my bandages before I fell asleep, _'On Mark..._ _'_ It took some time and toilet paper, but I got it to a better state but it wouldn't last long.

When I returned to Mark I tried to rush to the end of dinner. I began to shove all my food down my throat as quickly as possible, it was the most food I've eating in weeks. Trying to drive would be a nightmare. I convinced Mark to drive, it was only a few blocks away so it shouldn't be too dangerous. While driving my leg got worse, Mark was clearly having fun time driving on the opposite side of the road for him. Finally the drive came to an end, I was in so much pain that I could barely hold back the tears. I ran inside and into the bathroom.

Hopping in the tub, I took off my pants and slowly began to pour alcohol on my leg, I winced as it stung. Subconsciously, I bit my hand to relieve the pain. After cleaning one leg I switched to the next an experienced the pain all over again. My eyes shot open when I began to taste copper in my mouth. I had bitten into my hand and I hadn't even noticed.

 **Mark's POV**

Dinner was _nice_ but... but there was... something. It kept on nagging me, I just couldn't shake the feeling. On the way home I drove, it was fun getting to drive on the opposite side. We laughed at my driving, the restaurant was only four blocks away so it wasn't long. The second I stopped Sean nearly jumped out of the car and went inside.

He was in the bathroom for awhile. I tried to convince myself that it was for "Nature calling" but I couldn't help but think there was another reason. I walked up to the door about to knock. _'You're worrying to much he's fine.'_ I stood in front of the door frozen I couldn't decided weather knock on it or walk away. Eventually I left and went to record something, anything to distract my mind.

At about half way through a recording I heard the door open. I was relieved. I calmly finished recording and went into the kitchen.

Sean was standing and drinking some water in the kitchen. We talked for awhile and arranged the rest of the week, tomorrow we would start recording some sketches and try to get to a game or two. It would be a busy week, but that was good almost every second of it I could have my eye on Sean. I could begin to get to the bottom of this nagging feeling.

We went to his couch and played some smash until we physically could not any long due to are bodies needing to take breathes after so much laughing. We were so slap happy that anything would make us giggle.

Eventually we went to bed this time not on each other, which for some reason made me feel disappointed.

I laid in my bed and hopped on twitter looking at various notifications **Alexisthebestest and 30+ started following you.** Reading through the comments, I was appalled by all the ones that were against my dearest friend... Jack. **The fuck you hanging with him for. why would you go there. Wait, you actually like him?** I had gotten so angry that I throw my phone on to my dresser and rolled over. _'How could they be my fans and yet be such terrible people. Why would anyone say things like that'_ I slowly drifted to sleep thinking about the comments.

 **Mark's dream**

I was still in the street holding the leprechaun, so I ran into the nearest building. It was a convention center, I burst through the door and into a panel it looked like PAX and they were doing a Q&A. I ran up to the mic and screamed. "You guys got to help me, it's Jack He's dying." The fan that was at the question mic began "The fuck you hanging out with him for?" His words pierced me. The next fan stepped up, "Why would go to Ireland?" The third fan, "Wait, you actually like him?" Out of nowhere all the fans got up chanting different hate comments and chancing me. To get away from them I clutched the small body in my arms and jumped back out the doors. Opening my eyes after impact, I could see we were back in the forest, but this time it seemed darker and on the there was ground a faint red trail that led through the forest. As hard as I tried not to follow it my body forced me to move.

After what seemed like hours, the trail ended in a hole in the ground. It didn't take me long to realize it was a grave and the exact size of the little lifeless leprechaun in my arm. My eyes begin to swell with tears as I kick dirt into the deep hole screaming, "Don't you dare take him for me! He is mine!" The small corpse began to stir. Looking down at him, I realized that blood was now flowing quickly from his wrists, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop the bleeding. In almost a whimper the leprechaun whispered "Please, I'm fine." My heart sank he was trying so hard to die, "Let me be, Mark." with that he pushed off my chest and fell into the hole I tried to grab him but his slick wrist slipped right through my hands.

I shot up in bed breathing heavily, I sigh and put my head in my hands only to feel how wet under my eyes were. I had to see him.

 **Jack's POV**

I wake up in a cold sweat. I hadn't had a bad dream or anything thing I just felt uneasy. Last night was so peaceful, so nice. Now here I am laying in bed alone just like it had been since I moved out. I was on my on since I turned eighteen. I mean sure, I lived in a detached house 30ft from my parents, but they were rarely home. I went into they're house all the time but it was empty, just a shell. Even before, when I was a child, my parents weren't there, we weren't close. I remember walking home after a bad day at school and just sitting on my bed for hours waiting. I never knew what I was waiting for, but I still waited. I got so bored. Extremely bored. Dangerously bored. My mind would wonder, and eventually I found ways to entertain myself.

One day while walking home from a particularly hard day I found a plastic box. I picked it up and toyed with it, it kept my mind occupied. When I opened my door I tossed it on the floor.

 _Creek!_

I stop breathing as I heard Mark walking about. He got really close to my door, I panic and pretended to be asleep. After what seemed like an eternity He left. I let out a sigh. _'Why was he there'_ I didn't think on it too long, mostly due to the overwhelming thoughts that spend way too much time in my head.


End file.
